4029BC - THE LOOK OF LOVE

Who can forget the sheepish expression on Orpheus' face when he returned to the world of the living? Earlier, in the pub, he'd had half the village believing he'd be back with his wife before tea-time, and yet as he emerged, blinking in the bright sunlight, it soon became apparent that he was quite alone.

As he explained later to Melody Maker, "I only looked back for a second, yeah? I thought it would be OK. Jeez, man, that Hades is such a jobsworth."

After this incident, Orpheus became a laughing stock. Every time he appeared live the crowd would drown out his performance by chanting "Where's the Missus?" until he was forced to leave the stage.

Humiliated, he retired to Thrace, where he lived out his days as an amateur pederast.

1370-1413 - THE WARS OF THE STONE ROSES

In 1470 the popular Madchester band The Stone Roses entered an era of internecine conflict - largely the result of lead singer Ian Beale's decision to sack the drummer and bassist and bring in replacements. Everything would have been fine, except the original band had all been Roundheads, and the new members were Cavaliers. There was bound to be trouble.

This tiny oversight on Beale's part resulted in a pitched battle that lasted well over a century (hence the name "The Hundred Years War"), and claimed thousands of lives. In fact, hostilities were only brought to a close in 1066 when The Crazy World of Arthur Brown started the Great Fire of London. The lads forgot their differences and joined forces with The Happy Mondays and The Farm to help put out the blaze. Mad for it!

1931 - DO WHAT THOU WILT, BUT TUNE IN ON FRIDAY

In 1931 Aleister Crowley, disappointed with sales of his solo albums, and still smarting from the acrimonious break-up of his band The Golden Dawn, hit on what he though was an ingenious way of raising his public profile.

His idea was to broadcast a series of short films showing his everyday life with his five live-in lovers. It would be the first ever "docu-soap" (a name which Crowley himself coined). He spent a small fortune on recording six hundred and sixty-six episodes, then sat back and waited for the fame that he was sure would come.

Unfortunately, there were only four TV sets in Britain at the time, and on its debut broadcast three were switched off, and the other was tuned to ITV where the first episode of The Bill was being shown. Low audience ratings meant the plug was pulled on "The Crowleys" and a crestfallen Aleister vanished into bankrupt obscurity.

It's a shame, because there was a particularly good bit in episode three, where Crowley's pet dog is caught urinating on his sacred robes and all Hell breaks loose. Literally.

1980 - MASS SUICIDE OF ONLY ONES FANS

The Only Ones, famous for their pop single Another Girl, Another Planet hit a major problem with their career in this year - one from which they never really recovered.

Fascinated by backward masking techniques used by heavy metal bands (by which messages can be smuggled into the brains of the unwary listener simply by playing the words backwards and burying it almost inaudibly in the mix) singer Pete Parrot decided to try his own experiment. Going one step further than the likes of Ozzy and Judas Priest, Pete decided on a method of forward masking, in which the words were clearly audible and, more helpfully, the right way round.

The band were concerned by the sinister new direction, but Pete pressed onwards regardless, later stating that he thought it’d be a ‘a bit of a giggle’.

The song in question, Why Don’t You Kill Yourself?, was duly recorded and released. Its effects were immediate and devastating, and completely decimated the band’s fanbase.

Be warned - the song is, amazingly, still available in many formats. Please, please, please avoid it at all costs.

2005 - SINEAD SHOOTS MOUTH OFF, HITS OWN FOOT

Sinead O'Connor is no stranger to controversy, but when in June 2005 she hinted that Princess Diana, far from being dead, had actually been one of the masterminds behind the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers, it caused immediate fury.

"Princess Diana didn't die, she's a paedophile and they had to cover it up," she said in an interview on CBBC, adding "I also have reliable information that she helped the Pope organise the 9/11 attack."

The world at large was so disgusted that she was immediately excommunicated by the Methodists, the Church of England, the Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Buddhists and, in a surprise move, atheists.

In fact, by the end of July, she'd been excluded by every faction on the planet, apart from the Catholics. A disgruntled O'Connor found herself a member of the Catholic Church by default.

"It wasn't the outcome I was hoping for," she admitted, ruefully.