Your Neighbour's Favourite Dance Anthems - Various Artists
£2.99, The All Night Garage
This limited edition release features a thumping selection of massive Ibiza tunes from the past seven years, all mixed to sound as if they're being played in the flat directly above yours. For the full effect, play at top volume while you're trying to watch a film on television, or simply trying to get to sleep, whilst quietly sobbing.
2/10
Dolly Diplodocus - It's a Mammal's World
£12.49, Fossil Records
It's a far cry from the ferny swamps of the cretaceous to the Jazz Emporium in Tooting High Street where this live album was recorded one rainy saturday night.
No one knows how Dolly got here, whether through a freak time-slip or whether through the efforts of some mad scientist and Dolly herself professes not to know. One thing's certain though, Dolly is here to stay, and with songs like "Where Have All the Pterosaurs Gone?" and "I'll Never Get Back Home" she's fast carving a niche for herself in the soulful jazz-pop genre.
The album ends on the title track - a song which has become her signature tune - to rapturous applause.
10/10
No I Can’t Forget This Evening Or Your Face As We Were Leaving But I Guess That’s Just The Way The Story Goes You Always Smile But In Your Eyes Your Sorrow Shows Yes It Shows No I Can't Forget Tomorrow When I Think Of All My Sorrow When I Had You There But Then I Let You Go And Now It's Only Fair That I Should Let You Know What You Should Know Can’t Live If Living Is Without You Can’t Live Can’t Give Anymore Can’t Live If Living Is Without You Can’t Give Can’t Give Anymore – The Best Of Harry Nilsson
£16.50, Gravel Records
Retrospective of the singer’s career. Includes the hit single ‘Everybody’s Talkin’’.
9/10
The new Living In A Box box set, “Living In A Box: The Box Set”
£9.99, Box Tree Records
Includes their hits Living In A Box, Box Clever, Thinking Out Of The Box, and The Box Song. Available Boxing Day.
Bloody awful.
1/10
Audiobook - F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby read by Dalek Sec
£16.98, Davros Subsidiaries PLC
Fitzgerald's classic romance of the Jazz Age is brought to life here by the evil black Dalek Sec, Leader of the Cult of Skaro (a Dalek thinktank with powers above and beyond the Emperor himself). One might think that the harsh grating speech of a Dalek would be unable to convey the subtleties Fitzgerald's brittle tragedy, and one would be right. The overall effect is a little like being harangued by one of the Cadbury's Smash Martians during the quieter passages of a funeral elegy. Dalek Sec's management company had advised him to release this album as part of a public relations campaign in order to cultivate a friendlier and more cultured image. However, the campaign was soon dropped when Dalek Sec exterminated over a hundred customers at a Waterstone's book signing.
3/10
Twilight Zone – The Album,
£14.99, Vertigo
At least, that’s what it was when I bought it. When I got it home there was a picture of me on the cover, and the CD just played the sounds from my journey home.
Well worth a listen: 8/10
Lily Allen - Glorious (Slight) Return
£12.99, Albatross Records
When it was announced that Lily Allen was starting work on a new album in
summer 2006, many industry insiders got very excited. Unfortunately Lily
fell pregnant during the making of the album, and when it became time to
record the vocals she was on maternity leave. Luckily the studio had
employed a YTS girls to make coffee, and rather than go to the expense of
getting in another singer just for the period of the pregnancy, the studio
decided to get the YTS girl (Debbie) to provide maternity cover and thus
undertake all of the vocals on the album.
I have now heard the results on this album. The singing of this trainee is
abysmal. She obviously has no idea about pitch whatsoever, the phrasing of
almost all of the words "sung" here are hopelessly out of synch with the
music, and her delivery is extremely monotonous and severely lacking in
anything even approaching imagination. My senses have scarcely been subject
to such an atrociously lame, passionless and decidedly moribund 37 minutes
as they have been with this album. I loathe and detest it. It's spawned from
the lowliest pit of humanity populated by the worst excess of subhuman scum.
It makes my skin crawl, and I hate it with an absolute vengeance. All in all
a suitable follow up to Lily Allen's debut album.
-10/10