Live

Ratty Flumes - Arbroath Pentangle
So-called "illest man in soul", Ratty Flumes is wheeled on stage in a hospital bed, intravenous drip attached to his arm and his faithful old 64 Rickenbacker guitar perched on his lap. Although Flumes has been in a persistent vegetative state for nearly 30 years, occasional involuntary spasms and muscle contractions cause his hands to brush against the strings and produce eerie discordant clangs, with the constant beep of his heart-lung machine providing a hip electronic underscore. Haunting but missable.

Cancelled - Manchester Roadhouse
No stranger band exists than Cancelled. This arty collective has no members and their live performances consist in fans merely queuing up outside the venue for a bit and then going home. After standing in line for 10 minutes, I got the number 15 bus back to my place and wrapped a couple of Christmas presents. Then I wrote this.

Heron 25 - Oxford Milk Lounge
Went along to this, expecting it to be a new indie boy-band, something along the lines of Keane perhaps, only to be pleasantly surprised when 25 thin-legged aquatic birds came onstage, and began to stalk round and round to the triumphant tones of Uptown Girl by Billy Joel. Unfortunately my elation soon turned to bitter disappointment when it became clear that there were only twenty four actual herons - the twenty fifth bird being a common cormorant inexpertly painted with a tin of Dulux gloss paint someone had found out the back.